10 Best Movie Bad Guys!

Posted: July 5, 2013 in -
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
#10. The Joker
(The Dark Knight)

Joker-the-joker-9028188-1024-768

Why?  The psychotic glance was enough, not to mention all his dirty doings.  He would have ranked higher if Batman didn’t kick his ass so easily.

#9. Darth Vader
(Star Wars IV)

Owned-DarthVader

Why?  Of course the dark Lord of the Sith had to make an appearance. Taking no shit whatsoever, strangling mother fuckers without even touching them, terrorizing his own intergalactic imperial force?  That’s some powerful juju.

#8. Hannibal Lecter
(Silence of the Lambs)

HannibalLecter

Why?  As far as creepy undertones go, Lecter is unmatched.  You know there’s a damned good reason he’s behind thick glass or his mouth covered over by a metal guard.  Lecter proves cunning enough to go where normal mortals just wouldn’t go in order to escape.  A killing force that terrifies normal people, they know they could never be that sick.

#7. John Doe
(Seven)

john_doe

Why?  His handiwork speaks for itself.  Without appearing at all for most of the film, this character upsets the notion of morality and of human nature by the specifically-choreographed nature of his atrocities.  A behind the scenes puppet master, his plot is just plausible enough to freeze your guts.

#6. T-1000
(Terminator 2)

T-Patrick

Why?  He’s as unstoppable as they come.  Shooting him has no effect.  He can melt and reanimate at will, with perfect hair, and a creepy cold persona inspired by studying insects.

#5. The Biker of the Apocalypse
(Raising Arizona)

leonard_smalls_raising_arizona

Why?  Batman would not have kicked his ass.  Plus, Leonard Smalls represents more than his biker exterior would suggest.  The man accessorizes with hand grenades, so I wouldn’t suggest fucking with him.

#4. Bob Roberts

bob_roberts-withdylansign

Why?  He’s an anti-hero in this character study cum mockumentary.  He is the embodiment of Wall Street /political fanaticism, the ugliest American, the one they elect into office based on image and a track record of making money, preaching greed and blaming scapegoats.

#3. Dick Jones
(Robocop)

DickJones

Why? He’s the Enron, Dick Cheney, Republican corporate boss who plays dirty.  Dealing with terrorists and cops, hiring mobsters and simultaneously owning the police force, Jones and OPC represent everything wrong with the modern age.  Jones is so dead-on perfect, a malignant natural product of American capitalism and corruption, a master of exploitation.

#2. Brig. General Jack Ripper USAF
(Dr. Strangelove)

LWBWG00Z

Why?  The lunatic warmonger who would blow up the world to rid it of his enemies.  Perhaps the most dangerous of them all, his psychotic episode mirrored the Cuban Missile Crisis standoff that brought the planet to the actual final edge of annihilation.

#1. Thulsa Doom
(Conan the Barbarian)

07b-conan

Why?  James Earl Jones, a Viking snake king, with magical dark powers unseen before: what more do you need to know?  James Earl Jones is mesmerizing, literally, as that is one of his dark powers.  His presence is so captivating, so menacing yet subtle, that he elevates this sword and sandals bloodbath to new heights.

Alternate

Was I negligent to omit Caligula?  This oversight has irked me since I first posted.  My alternate pick, in case one of the other villains is unable to perform his duties, needs to be Emperor of Rome, Gaius Caligula “Little Boots.”

caligula_264487

Alternate

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